November 7, 2005

Resignation Letter to Lando Calrissian from a Low-Level Cloud City Employee 
 
Dear Mr. Calrissian,
 
This letter is to inform you of my resignation from Cloud City effective two weeks from today. The reasons are fairly serious as well as recent, and I feel the need to put them in writing for you.
 
When I first joined the fine custodial crew of Cloud City, I thought I’d found a nice place to work, not far from my humble home on Bespin. The pay and benefits were fair, and my wife loved your clean, white shopping malls. Your aide, Lobot, seemed like he’d make a pretty good boss, too, even if he’s a little creepy at times.
 
Things have gotten too stressful now that the Empire’s started sticking its nose in our business, though. That used to be the best part of living on Bespin, Mr. Calrissian: those fascist so and so’s left us alone. Now? Well, I just have to tell you that the work atmosphere here has gone to the Dark Side with quickness.
 
A buddy of mine who works in the carbon freezing chambers (he asked me not to give his name) told me you guys froze a guy in carbonite the other day. Even a Nerf Herder knows that’s not remotely safe, and it really gave me pause about working here when I first heard about it.
 
But the real clincher, for me personally, was yesterday, right after all the hubbub about evacuating or some such, when I was mopping up the spire floors, and, well, I don’t know how else to put this than to just come out and write it: I found a human hand. A hand! Looked like it’d been lopped off right at the wrist. That, honestly, really freaked me out. I mean, Mr. Calrissian, what’s happened to this place? At any rate, that just absolutely did it for me. Cleaning Wookie fur off the urinals is one thing, but appendages on the floor? That kind of grotesquery wasn’t in my job description.
 
I want to thank you for my employment here on Cloud City these past few years, but it is time to move on for me. I hope you understand as I’ve clearly laid out my reasons. I also hope you can be counted on for a good letter of recommendation seeing as how I’ve almost always showed up to work on time and am giving the required two weeks notice, especially considering the circumstances.
 
Sincerely,
Flacks Bebob

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