| Seeing
actor Jonathan Silverman at my local Hollywood Rite Aid once
was fairly strange in and of itself, especially being that
I’m from the Midwest, an area of the US not known for
sightings of the arguably semi-famous, let alone Jewish ones.
However, seeing him on several occasions coupled with my girlfriend
claiming to have spotted him there on separate trips, gives
me pause. It seems Silverman is going to Rite Aid at least
as much as my girlfriend and myself combined, if not more.
Granted, Rite Aid is a fairly convenient store where one can
get prescriptions filled, photos developed, and even cheap
cologne, but an independent study reveals I go there more
than the average person. Yet here is the world-renowned (he’s
huge in Japan) Weekend At Bernie’s star Jonathan
Silverman making treks roughly twice as frequently. Is he
so impressed by their Bod bodyspray/bodywash/lotion three-for-one
pack, a steal at $9.95, that he can't resist several trips
a week? Or does he have some sort of ailment that necessitates
frequent visits to the pharmacy? Maybe he has a rash that
won’t clear up and requires stronger and stronger ointment
prescriptions. Perhaps he enjoys the small selection of obscure
movies cheaply priced on DVD, some of which feature him and/or
fellow thesp Steve Guttenberg. Honestly, there are so many
vast and varied types of products and services offered by
Rite Aid that speculation on why Silverman loves it so could
go on infinitum, with increasing potential for libel.
The first time I saw the former Single Guy TV series
star (Who remembers that one?), I had just dropped a roll
of film to be developed by this particular Rite Aid’s
barely competent -- yet competitively priced -- photo mat.
As I was leaving, a handsome and trendily disheveled tall
drink of water passed me. He was familiar, but I couldn’t
quite place him at first. My confusion, mistaken for gawking,
allowed Silverman to assume the air of putout celebrity simply
wanting to have a normal private life. This is an air he probably
hasn’t had the chance to give off since his Soul
Man heyday. Wait… that was C. Thomas Howell. ...
At any rate, though mildly embarrassed by my perceived staring,
I’ve since decided to feel good about the encounter
as I helped him feel like the celebrity he, some would claim,
deserves to be, however fleetingly.
 Our
subsequent run-ins have been less eventful: a brief glance
of the Made cameo-star buying aspirin as I perused
the wrapping paper selection, spying a cool Spongebob Squarepants
birthday design; an unreturned nod as he rushed from the pharmacy,
mysterious prescription in tow; mutual confusion as we both
entered the feminine products aisle from opposite ends…
It’s odd how he’s become like any other peripheral
person on the very outskirts of my life -- except that he’s
guest-starred on Friends.
Most vexing isn’t why Jonathan Silverman excessively
frequents Rite Aid so much as why he frequents this particular
one, since I don’t live in the best neighborhood. It’s
not horrible, but it’s certainly not the kind of area
for the star of Caddyshack 2. I’m not suggesting
the man’s down and out. A quick trip to the fabled Internet
Movie Database shows he’s still working. Not that Jekyll,
a computer-age update of the Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde story,
is going to smash box office records, or likely even make
it to the box office, but it’s a living. Still, I can’t
help but worry that Jonathan Silverman does indeed live near
my old, dilapidated apartment building. If that’s the
case, where did all his Weekend At Bernie’s 2
money go? Did he squander it on various lotions and hair care
products from Rite Aid? Or does he go to Rite Aid for said
products instead of some trendy, upper class establishment
because he drained his bank account on excessive spending
or ill thought out business deals? Maybe his parents stole
all his money like poor, sweet Gary Coleman.
Perhaps I should just ask him why he's goes to Rite Aid so
much, but, for some reason, I have little to no desire to
strike up any sort of conversation with the man. Not for any
dislike or misplaced ill will toward the semi-famous, nor
because I somehow think I’m better than him because
he’s not an A-list star. It’s more that I wouldn’t
want him to mistake me for a hayseed that gets all tongue-tied
around the almost celebrity. That and it could be perceived
as my being kind of nosy. |
