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So here I am at my dining room table, leafing though a copy of "Everybody Poops" and wondering if the kid is ready for this kind of information. Not even sure if I want to write a review of it here, because the material's kind of questionable. So no book review for you guys this month, sorry. Not had the time to get into any of the other stuff on the kid's bookshelf, and I can't imagine spending time talking about Dr. Seuss - he's freaking Dr. Seuss, what am I supposed to write?
I'll tell you what is pissing me off right now though, is the smell that's coming from the kitchen. It's got to be something near the sink, although the smell seems to be moving around at will. Kind of a weird rotting fruit kind of smell - which makes about as much sense as smelling cat pee, 'cause we don't have a cat, and I don't think we've been missing any fruit. I think it's maybe coming from the disposal, because it seems stronger near that side of the sink. What the hell is down there? Why won't it go away? I've tried running water down there for about five minutes, squirting some dish detergent in it, and I even dug around the bathroom and found some of that Pine-Sol crap that turns the water in the shitter green. No freakin' help though.. the stuff cleans the can, but won't get rid of a smell in the sink? What the hell is that? Now instead of some kind of roadkill, it smells like roadkill after a summer rain. Damnation!
Yeah, it's probably one of those damn things that Time/Life puts out books on. I'll have to surf the cable and see if there's an infomercial for 'em or something. Hey, while I'm thinking about cable and stuff, since when did it become okay for everyone to have a blimp to cover sporting events? I swear that just a year or so ago, it was just those big Goodyear dudes that had the market cornered on the blimp world, and now it seems like everyone and their neighbor has one of those things flying around up there. Used to be that the "Snoopy" blimp was the one off brand you'd ever see. Now there's one or two for some auto makers, I think I saw one for a company that makes microwaves, and who the hell knows what else is up there. Next thing you know, we'll start seeing blimps owned by anyone with the money to spend. The only thing that's probably stopped Microsoft from getting one at this point is that probably everyone would start making jokes about it crashing, har-dee-har-har.
Of course, the people that would really DESERVE a blimp will never get one - the fine folks at Blimpie who make those tasty subs. Hell, I hardly ever see those guys do commercials, and when I do, it's always the same ones they've aired for the last three years. Spend some money, folks! You've got that freakin' yahoo Buddy on the air every damn day with a new commercial for carpet, so it can't be that expensive. See, it's all about investing.. you gotta get some new commercials, then you can get your blimp. Try and think outside the box, people! Creative marketing! Don't know how you think you'll ever amount to anything if you don't use your imagination. Speaking of, I'm gonna go use my noodle to figure out how to take out this damn sink smell. Shit's getting worse and heaven forbid it's like this when the wife gets home. She'll probably go all Martha Stewart on my ass, and I sure as hell don't want that on my hands.
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