So last time I wrote all about why God was a sham. And I was willing to be smote for it.

I was.

I was smote and took the hint. So I started to consider believing. And then I started to believe. My life changed. I stopped drinking, these last few weeks. I started getting up earlier and being more and more productive. I started to really enjoy things.

Shit, I watched a butterfly flit around a tree for four hours. In the sunshine. I enjoyed it. It was wonderful. I started to sing small songs while taking walks. The neighborhood children asked me to tell them stories and to referee their stickball games -- that sort of thing. I agreed to it all happily.

God saved me. He took me up and made me whole and happy.

I didn't see a unicorn or anything, but I did chase a few rainbows as far as I could, just for the fun of it. I went out and did a hundred silly things I always half wanted to try. I lived life for the sake of living it and charged it all to the account of faith.

It was different. Life was different. I could find myself and talk to myself and rediscover myself. The world was new, and it was shiny, and I enjoyed it.

I took it all at the value it was presented as.

So yeah, I am here to tell you I was wrong. I was lifted up and delivered.

I had been blind, but then I saw.

I had been poor but then received the riches of God upon me.

I had been deaf, but now I heard. Or however that song goes.

It was beautiful.

And then I had to write. See, all this goodness drove the writing right out of me. And I saw it for what it was. A choice. A turning point.

So really, God can go sit in a corner again. Yeah, bright light and sunshine and rainbows are wonderful. If you like that sort of thing.

Let's face it, that God stuff is for the easier marks. The ones who need something bigger than themselves to hold on to. A parent figure to look at and nod to. Or maybe it's for people who have faith and want something bigger to trust in.

Whatever. Whichever.

I'm gonna try to find God again. On my own terms. At the bottom of a bottle or right before the butt end of a good cigar. It's faith, right?

Sure it is.