If I had a Giant Robot, he'd not be all THAT Giant. Maybe just nine or ten feet tall. Yes, he'd still be "giant." Bigger than you, at any rate.

If I had a Giant Robot, I'd have him mow all the neighbor's lawns -- for free! Although, my Giant Robot would gladly accept offers of lemonade and iced tea.

If I had a Giant Robot, he would be made in Sweden, not Japan. Those Japanese robots look way too fake.

My Giant Robot will have heard all of those lame Terminator jokes before, thank you. Get some new material.

If I had a Giant Robot, he'd have built-in karaoke abilities. Sing at your own risk, though, because my Giant Robot wouldn't stand for bad renditions of Celine Dion songs.

If I had a Giant Robot, he wouldn't stand for Celine Dion, either.

My Giant Robot would probably be secretly ashamed of his retarded cousin Johnny Five.

If I had a Giant Robot with some sort of vacuum attachment, I'd want it to be a Dyson. They never lose suction, you know.

If I had a Giant Robot, he would set fire to the club scene with a dance called "The Human." Then he would set fire to the club scene with his eye lasers.

At the robot picnic, my Giant Robot wouldn't be best known for his prowess on the softball diamond, but rather for his incredible German Potato Salad.

If I had a Giant Robot, he'd thank you for inferring that, but sadly, he's not anatomically correct.