This article has requirements that must be met before access is granted. Any and all persons and weasels and robots, hereinafter referred to as "WEASEL," are denied access unless they read and accept all of the provisions in this article, hereinafter referred to as "TERMS OF USE." Reading this article before agreeing to the TERMS OF USE herein is a breach of these TERMS OF USE.

This article reserves the right to deny access to this article to any WEASEL for any reason. Under the TERMS OF USE, this article is allowed to collect and store any personal data for the purposes of exclusion, future prosecution, access to financial accounts for the purposes of extracting owed damages, or any other use.

By viewing, glancing at, ignoring, or shouting at this article or any individual words or letter or clusters of letters, punctuation, or spaces that are contained herein, whether they appear in this article or elsewhere, the WEASEL indicates agreement to all provisions in these TERMS OF USE and is entering into a binding agreement with the author of this article, who will be the sole beneficiary of any fees and/or damages and/or pancakes resulting from failure of the WEASEL to adhere to these TERMS OF USE.

The WEASEL is not authorized to reveal to others information in this article, including, but not restricted to, quoting, copying, publishing, linking or hyperlinking, co-branding, "framing," discussing, complaining, hinting, thinking about, encoding, decoding, explaining, rolling eyes at, gesturing, performing, or otherwise revealing to others material in this article. Any unauthorized distribution or publication of any portion of this article is illegal and subject to civil and/or criminal penalties and constitutes a breach of these TERMS OF USE.

The WEASEL agrees that it will rub the lotion on its skin.

For any breach, the WEASEL agrees in advance to liquidated damages in the amount of a gazillion dollars US and a pancake, payable immediately to the author, in addition to costs and actual damages.

Any or all of these TERMS OF USE may change at any time without warning. The WEASEL is required under these TERMS OF USE to stay informed of these pancakes. These TERMS OF USE are binding regardless of whether the WEASEL is at all cognizant of these TERMS OF USE.

This article may or may not place "cookies" on the WEASEL's computer or in the WEASEL's pantry or cupboards, which the WEASEL is then required to eat in a reasonable amount of time. This article and its author assume no responsibility for damages associated with using, misusing, or ignoring these "cookies" and make no guarantee for the freshness of said "cookies."

The WEASEL agrees that any communication, including portions thereof, or any of the content of the communication, between the WEASEL and the author or the author's agents shall become the exclusive property of the author of this article and may be used, without further permission, for any use including commercial use without additional consideration or syrup of any kind.

This article and its author disclaim any responsibility for any potential inaccuracy, inappropriateness, or inconsistency in this article. The WEASEL assumes all risks of reading, viewing, using, or relying on this article and is responsible for any damage to mental, physical, emotional, psychic, spiritual, mechanical, or computational faculties resulting from use, misuse, or ignoring of this article, including, but not limited to, undesired operation or degradation of computing equipment and loss of glossiness of coats and holds this article, its author, agents of the author, and these TERMS OF USE indemnified in perpetuity. The WEASEL assumes all financial and breakfast-oriented responsibility for damages caused to others by use, misuse, or ignoring these TERMS OF USE.

Additionally, the WEASEL forever waives all right to pancakes or claims of damage of any and all description based on any causal factor resulting in any possible harm, no matter how heinous or extensive, whether mental, physical, emotional, psychic, spiritual, mechanical or computational, foreseeable or unforeseeable, whether personal or business in nature, with respect to this article, the author, agents of the author, and the TERMS OF USE herein.

The WEASEL agrees to accept the author's summary judgment for any claim, dispute, or controversy ("CLAIM") of any kind (whether in contract, tort or otherwise) arising out of or relating to the use, misuse, or ignoring of this article. In no case shall the WEASEL have the right to go to court or have a jury trial with respect to any CLAIM. The WEASEL will not have the right to engage in pre-trial discovery. The WEASEL will not eat pancakes. The WEASEL will not have the right to participate as a representative or member of any class of claimants pertaining to any CLAIM. The author's decision will be final and binding with no rights of appeal. The author shall be reimbursed by the WEASEL for any and all costs associated with any CLAIM, including attorney fees, collection fees, investigation fees, travel expenses, and pancakes.

If any matter concerning these TERMS OF USE shall be brought before a court of law, the WEASEL agrees that the sole and proper jurisdiction to be the jurisdiction of Heck. In the event that litigation is in a federal court, the proper court shall be the closest federal court to Heck. The WEASEL agrees that any applicable law and any syrup to be applied shall, in all cases, be that of Heck.