Some targets are easier than others, and I'm not above a cheap shot like the average deep-sea hydrothermal vent tubeworm isn't above the stratosphere.

Having said that, here is a handful of would-be Supermen: Sieg Hi, Mom!

Note the broad shoulders and chests, the strong chins, the firm muscles, the blond hair, the blue eyes, the snappy uniforms, the shiny boots, the regimented discipline, the... sorry. Wrong slide. Damn Photo-Mat arseholes. Try this one. Nope. That's not it. How about this one? This one? This one? Rats! One last try?

Crap!

But you get the idea. The shaved head isn't really to disguise the lack of blond hair or lack of hair altogether. Honest. Dark sunglasses aren't there to hide weak and watery brown eyes. Our clip-on ties are perfectly measured for the flattened six-pack abdominals of the Cadillac of Men! (It's not our fault that there was so much schnitzel and potato salad on the buffet at the pre-rally banquet!) We are the Master Race! Really! Stop laughing!

You can be a part of it no matter what your culture of origin or genetic background may be, as is obvious from the pictures. But you should probably be a man or at least be able to pass for one with a shaved head or while wearing a pointy hood and robes. An enormous beer gut is a bonus.

Also, you should have a withering inferiority complex and a whimpering need to be a part of something larger than yourself. That's all you need, character-wise. Trust me. People who can think of Hitler as a swell guy can accept anybody, whatever their faults. Also, it'll help if you're completely blind to your own faults. (That's not entirely uncommon in any demographic.) Otherwise you won't be able to pull this off.

And once you're with us, prepare to take over the world! lobby for the USA to withdraw support of Israel and lynch the niggers work to preserve the White Cultural Heritage for your Slavic Greek Jews Serbian Polish Irish Saxon Italian Bavarian Spanish Hun Icelandic Gallic Baizi Lapp Romany Turkish Arab Hindi Russian Persian Ukrainian Kazakhstani Redneck that's funny, you don't look Aryan White children!

You hear that? You're doing this for your children. Breeders only. Homos need not apply unless you can pass for a straight man with a shaved head, or wearing a pointy hood and robes. An enormous beer gut is a bonus. Straight-acting closet homos are fine. You'll enjoy the initiation.

And now for something completely different: Chicken Sex-Links (NOT JOHN WATERS SAFE!!)

Ahem.

Now back to our regularly scheduled broadcast.

The need to belong, the need for affirmation of the nearly universal privately held belief that one is, by very nature, superior... I've seen it everywhere. Pointing the finger in the completely opposite direction, I've seen it in a particular individual's conversion to Judaism; even the need to be a part of one of a number of superiority-by-birth-claiming Children-of-God groups of legitimately oppressed people so one doesn't have to feel like an individual shit is a good second best. At least then when one sees oneself as a failure one can point to a well-documented bias against one's chosen group. (Also it's good to be a part of a recognized minority with a good internal support structure for the free leg up.) As any Rabbi would tell you, however, a more legitimate reason for conversion would be the heartfelt need to take on the additional responsibility for completing or repairing God's Creation that mankind has been working so hard to destroy for the past several thousand years, otherwise voiced as, "Why the hell would you want to be Jewish given the choice? You must be nuts!"

But I'm not Jewish, so what would I know? Hell, I'm barely white by White Supremacist standards -- although I am the pinkest human being I've ever run across that isn't actually albino.

Let's face it. Back in the real world, "aryan" meant, and in some places continues to mean, "capable of language, law, and complex civilization." As opposed to "barbarian." And now that definition is argued to include many species and tribes of apes, as well as probably meerkats, who seem to have their own "reality" show. That's proof, right? They’re at least as civilized as the Osbornes...

In any case, the One True Minority is the individual who will never get a leg up from anyone and will never have any external endorsement for one's congenital superiority. The lack of need for external support and validation is practically sociopathy. That's officially classified as a disease. Apparently it's a lot more "healthy" to be a member of a White Supremacy group regardless of the overt lunacy of the founding precepts...

Whatever. Don't sweat it. Lunacy is mandatory here in Heck. You'll get kicked out if you're caught without it.